A request is when you ask someone to do something, or ask if you can do something. An offer is when you say you'll help. Small words like could, would and I'll make you sound friendly and polite, not bossy.
The pattern
Could you open the window?
Would you mind waiting here?
I'll get the door.
01Asking to do something: Can I, Could I, May I
To ask permission, use Can I, Could I or May I + the base verb, with no to. Can I is the everyday choice in the US, even in stores and restaurants. Could I is a little softer. May I sounds formal and very polite, which is good for offices and customer service.
May is only for I and we. Never say "May you...?"
- Can I borrow your charger?
- Could I ask you a quick question?
- May I see your ID, please?
| Casual | Polite | Very polite |
|---|---|---|
| Can I use this? | Could I use this? | May I use this? |
| Can you help me? | Could you help me? | Would you mind helping me? |
02Asking someone else: Can you, Could you, Would you
To ask someone to do something, use Can you, Could you or Would you + the base verb. Add please to sound warmer. Could you and would you are softer than can you, so use them with coworkers, strangers and anyone you don't know well.
- Can you text me when you get home?
- Could you please send me the file?
- Would you grab me a napkin?
03Would you mind + -ing
Would you mind is extra polite. The next verb takes -ing: Would you mind waiting? For a negative request, add not: Would you mind not calling so late?
Be careful with the answer. Would you mind really asks "Is it a problem for you?", so No, not at all means yes, I'll do it. Americans also answer Sure or No problem.
- Would you mind turning the TV down?
- Would you mind not parking in front of the garage?
- A: Would you mind moving your bag? B: Not at all.
04Offering help: I'll, Should I, Want me to
When you decide to help right now, use I'll + verb: I'll get it. To ask if the person wants your help, use Should I...? or Do you want me to...? In casual American speech, people often drop do you: Want me to drive?
- The phone's ringing. I'll get it.
- Should I make a reservation?
- Do you want me to walk you to your car?
05Answering like an American
To say yes: Sure, No problem, Of course or You bet. To say no politely, say sorry and give a reason: Sorry, I can't right now. I'm on a call.
To accept an offer: That would be great, thanks! To turn one down: Thanks, but I'm good. In American English, I'm good here means no, thank you.
06Common mistakes
Could you to help me?
Could you help me?
After can, could and would, use the base verb with no to.
Would you mind to close the door?
Would you mind closing the door?
Would you mind is followed by the -ing form.
May you pass me the salt?
Could you pass me the salt?
May is only for asking permission with I or we.
Your bags look heavy. I carry them.
Your bags look heavy. I'll carry them.
For an offer you decide on the spot, use I'll.